Amazing things about the United States...

“My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!” - Thomas Jefferson

1. Free Shipping and Returns: Amazon Prime has produced a massive uplift in aggregate welfare (at least here in the tiny, bedroom-sized nation of Fetherstan). Seriously, we're living like animals in Australia...I can't go back to paying for postage
2. Ice cream is just a binding agent to hold chocolate chips, cookie dough and gummy bears together
3. The Bill of Rights. Also "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Hat tip, Founding Fathers
4. Infinite varieties of coffee, each subject to modification and recombination by the customer. Coffee shops prove that Americans value choice as a moral imperative above all else. Including good coffee
5. Antacids have their own aisle at the pharmacy (quite possibly due to points 2, 8, 9, 11, 12)
6. The Daily Show + The Colbert Report = the best 4.167% of my day
7. The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal are  the absolute perfect width for newspaper reading, while still allowing you to judge tabloid readers
8. So many kinds of sour candy
9. Everything comes in peanut butter flavor
10. Drinking straws in individual plastic wrappers. Doubtless an environmental travesty but still fab
11. Thanksgiving plays to my strengths - eating food cooked by others and then napping
12. Chips with your sandwich: now I basically just order a sandwich so I'll get chips